Well, my husband decided to email the farm's trustee about this matter and present our issue (which I am sure she knew about already).

The ultimate response is nothing different than said before.  I do have a copy of the letter received but I am not certain it is legal or not to post someone's exact words.  The base of it is that as far as they are concerned the farm followed the correct process, and though they said a mistake was made along the line (but didn't say they made the mistake), that they can take no responsibility for an email not being received or read and that since they have proof that they sent it... pretty much that is all that matters to them.  Also states that they felt it was fair to allow us to re-book at half the price.  They also mention about them being a charity and charge things at the lowest price (something I do not find to be truthful since we did look online at more than one place for an Own a Pony Day and the prices were nearly identical and the other places were not charities).

Unfortunately, we end up taking the fall for the mistake made.  The trustee ends the letter by hoping this won't affect our visiting the farm in the future... but really, how could it not affect things?  I have no intention of returning to that farm... if we want a farm visit again, it will be another one.

I feel like it is necessary to again remind and warn people about dealing with small businesses.  It is a real shame to have to do it as there are many wonderful small businesses... and in this economy we are supposed to be supporting everything local... but at the same time, we don't all have the funds to take the loss when problems happen.

There are laws out there to protect consumers from these troubles... though, the thing is, it assumes you can provide proof, such as recorded phone calls, receipts, emails and so on.... and of course, in this situation we have nothing to fall back on and we end up losing.

So beware, when you decide to deal with small businesses... it is your money at stake.  Make sure you have receipts, written promises, contracts, record the phone call yourself if needed because small businesses won't a

After my more stress filled blog entries of late, I am happy to have something else to post about that isn't filling me with stress right now.

Back at the end of January I joined a website called BzzAgent (there is also a US version ending in .com rather than .co.uk).  The premise of the website is that you fill out a lot of surveys (I think there were around 80 when I started) that ask you different questions about your life, activities, interests and habits (more or less), and based on these surveys they match you with campaigns.  Campaigns are pretty much advertizing campaigns where companies provide free samples of their products for target groups to try out.  As a BzzAgent you use the product and fill out some easy online activities, such as commenting and sharing on facebook or twitter through the BzzAgent page, taking photos and writing reviews with your honest opinion and experience.

It took a few months but I received my first campaign for two E45 lotions.  The classic E45 and a new E45 Nourish & Restore Lotion.  Here is the bzz kit I received.

My kit contains two full sized bottles for me to use, a booklet explaining a bit about E45 and what I can do as a BzzAgent and 10 sample packs to pass out to people I know.

So, we (my daughter and I) set out to start using the product to see how it went.

I started with the Nourish & Restore lotion and after a few applications realized it was causing me itching for about awhile after using it so I stopped using that one.  I have continued using the classic E45 with split results.  It works great on my neck and chest areas.  It has relieved the dry itching on my legs however has not improved the texture of my skin.  And it has had no effect on my hands or feet.

My daughter, who is 8, has been using the Nourish & Restore lotion on her hands.  I have chosen to photo document this as her hands were the worst affected by dryness.

Here is her hand on day 1.

Just a note:  I was trying to take consistent pictures to show the changes better... but it seems that using natural sunlight isn't that consistent for there are differences in the light in my pictures. 

Anyhow... in this first picture you can see her hand doesn't at all look like 8 year old skin, which should be supple and not lined.  Her skin looked very scale, red, on the verge of cracking and if you can look closely was also flaking.

We were already working on using creams on her skin to dry and improve the dryness.

Here is a photo of her hand on day 5.

The redness and flaking is gone and some of the scaliness has improved.  I think we have a long way to go yet but this is where we are so far.

My honest opinion is that I suspect this is as far as this cream will take her... but we will continue to use this cream to see what other improvements may be ahead.

Just before 4pm I have received an email from the manager of Deen City Farm stating that he can confirm that the payment (£70) has been received and that the places have been reserved on the 12th for the party.

I guess I expected something more receipt-like.  So, I have responded by asking for receipts for all the money we have paid.

Another update... I guess you could call it...

We paid the £70 to still manage a party for this coming Friday, April 12th.  My husband spoke to them on the phone and paid.  They agreed that my husband would email them back once he received the confirmation.  That all happened just after 10am on Friday, April 5th.

By Saturday we still hadn't received their email confirmation so my husband sent them an email to let them know.  According to their website, they are open from Tuesday until Sunday.

It is Monday, April 8th today and about 1:30pm at the moment.  No email as of yet.  I am assuming it won't come today since they are listed as being closed.

The thing is... if they were so adamant that us not getting the first email was not enough reason to not get our money back or be allowed to re-book at not extra cost... you'd think they'd be 100% on top of making sure we'd get the confirmation for the additional £70 we have now gone and paid!!!

AND... on top of that... we have never received a copy of the original confirmation or a receipt.. and haven't received the second confirmation or a receipt.

Deen City Farm leaves a lot to be desired and I won't be doing business with them in the future.

Well, my husband has gone ahead and paid the additional £70 so that my daughter does not suffer from the lack of this dream birthday activity and the other 3 girls are also not disappointed.

This morning I was on the phone with the local Citizens Advice Bureau and Consumers Advice Helpline.  I have to say I have come away very discouraged with this experience of dealing with a small business and I admit it is coloring my perception of dealing with small businesses in the future.  I feel like there has been no consumer protection in this case.

The advice I received is that the general course of action would be to present Deen City Farm with a complaint that we feel it has been a breach of contract... but here is the clincher according to the lady I spoke to for advice.  This is generally proven with bigger businesses because they record phone calls.  So, the business can look back and verify who is in the right and who is in the wrong.  Of course, having dealt with a small business... this is not available to any of us.  So again... I am feeling hopeless.

The second issue is still the lack of an email confirmation.  I assume Deen City Farm can prove they sent one from their computer, however... it is impossible for me to prove NOT getting something.  So... what am I supposed to do at that point really?  I am again failed because I went to a small business.  Had they had a better process of dealing with this... they would have had us verify the email, checked with us when that hadn't happened so it could have been resolved for the good of both parties.... but, that never happened.

She did say court was an option but a risk... and really it falls back on the above... you just can't prove what happened when there is no evidence.

IN FACT, Deen City Farm never even provided us with a receipt, not for the initial £140 and not for the £70 we paid on top today.

The ironic fact.... when my husband spoke to the manager on the phone making that £70 payment, they agreed my husband would confirm he received the email..... 5 hours have now passed and we are still waiting to receive that email.  You'd think after the entire big fiasco they'd have gotten straight on it and made sure the email went out immediately.

We have been advised to do future correspondences and complaints via recorded delivery, so we will be considering what to do.

We have also been told contacting the card issuer is an option, however... yet again... without the proof it just falls to their discretion.

Overall... I feel there is a big gap in the safety of the experience for the consumer in this case.  We might have been the only one this has ever happened to, but then again, maybe we aren't since they delete any negative feedback they get from public viewing.

Protect yourself when dealing with small businesses.  Beware of how things can go wrong over the phone.  Make sure the process leaves you with protection in case anything goes wrong. 

Get a receipt, ask them to send you one in the mail if you talk on the phone, book in person if possible, don't leave without your confirmation.

If you are worried something could go wrong over the phone... don't do business with them unless the call is recorded.

Know what a no refund policy means... you might think you do but if their process is flawed or lacking... you could be left in a lurch like we are with no way to prove anything.

We are in an economy where we are encouraged to do business with the small businesses around us to build up our areas and this country.  I am left feeling more protected dealing with the big guys.  At least they have an established process with plenty of proof for themselves and for me... at least they won't miss giving me my confirmation/receipt, and they go above and beyond to be legally covered... and that is good for both of us.

But it is easy for the little guy to not go that extra way... like in this instance.  And when you are the consumer on the other side... no one cares about you.

I want to be for small businesses... but at this point... I had better know them personally or it just be the local green grocer... else maybe I will be burned again.

I have been thinking about my blog a lot lately wanting to revive it and try and get regular at posting... this wasn't the type of post I was wanting to start back with but I feel it is an important experience to share for a few reasons.... 1) I think customers (of anywhere, of more than just this farm) need to be aware of their rights and their risks, 2) and I am hoping this helps other people not fall into the same situation.

It is April 4th today.

Back in March my husband called Deen City Farm to book an "Own a Pony Day" for our daughter instead of the usual birthday party.  As her birthday would fall during the spring half term, we needed to do some coordinating with her 3 friends we wanted to invite in order to make sure all would be available to enjoy the day with our daughter.

That date was April 12th.  It was the ONLY date all girls would be free at the same time.

We had a lot of great reasons for wanting to book this day at Deen City Farm rather than more specific riding school only places.  We never anticipated any problems could arise.

When we read their website, we were aware of their no refunds policy.  As a regular consumer, we thought that meant once booked we'd be unable to cancel, or if a child fell ill and was unable to come you'd not get your money back.  That seemed fair enough at the time.

So, my husband phoned up in March to book our daughter, who would be turning 8, and her 3 friends for this special day.  My husband had nothing other than the 12th in mind, no other day was possible.  He felt he had a good conversation with the employee he booked with and was left with no doubts about the booking.

Unknown to us, this is when the mistake happened.  It seems the employee said one thing on the phone about the date being the 12th... but accidentally wrote the party on the 2nd.  It is a human mistake, and no one realizes a mistake until it is pointed out.  So, I am not surprised at this point that the employee believes s/he remembers the situation from a month ago correctly concerning the date.

But... a good business would have had a catch net for this kind of mistake and THIS is where our grievance lies. According to Deen City Farm, they also sent us a confirmation email.  They did have the right email address to send it to.  I do not dispute that the address and I do not even dispute that they sent it as they said they did.  What I DO dispute is that, as far as they are concerned, sending an email to someone is equal to them receiving the email.  According to them this has been the process for years... unfortunately, in this instance it has gone wrong and we have been left with £140 missing from our pockets.  We did not get/see/read and email.  We were not aware that an email had been sent.

According to the farm... the problem lies with us... we should have queried the email and remedied the mistake... well, they don't admit to a mistake at all actually, it is me saying there was a mistake.  The problem is... when you don't get/see/read an email, you aren't aware that there is anything to query.

So.... now fast forward to April 2.

I came home from shopping to find a message on my voice mail from the farm saying that none of the girls had shown up for their day and was everything alright.  I phoned the lady back and said they hadn't showed up because we had booked the 12th and not the 2nd.  And this is where the struggle and shock began.

The employee I got to speak to was powerless to do anything about the situation rather that quote was she knew about the process.  I was unable to be put in contact with the manager that day.  Being upset and frustrated that what the employee seemed to be saying to me was that I just lost £140 on a birthday for an 8 year old that no one attended seemed to have just happened... and that they were not going to rectify this and place them on the right day had me very stressed.  According to the staff on the phone, 4 places still remained on the date we had originally booked... yet she was unable to give us those places.

Their work day ended at 4pm and I was left shocked at what happened... shocked that they were falling back on an email we didn't get/see/read.

I looked them up on facebook and they had a page there.  I decided to post about what had happened and where they had left me.  It was deleted, but I got a message from the manager asking me to send him details of what had happened, and I did.

I don't know if it is alright to share emails publicly or not so I will just have to summarize important details from the emails.

Basically, he took my information to the farm's trustee(s?) to see how they wanted to proceed.  Their response back was they felt their staff member hadn't made a mistake and had followed their procedure and therefore they were unwilling to refund or rebook on the correct day at no charge.

They had the nerve to make an offer... they offered to rebook on the proper day for 50% off the usual booking price... that is £70 on top of what I already paid.  That would make a day that was supposed to cost £140 for 4 8 year old girls cost £210.

Their argument is that they are a charity and need to manage their finances... and it seems that even means at the customers expense!  They said they had to hire more staff to be on that day (the 2nd) to manage the children, that other children were turned away from booking that day because our girls were incorrectly given that spot.  All these things, are not our fault, they are a result of the original mistake being badly managed and them not having a catch net process in plan.

But the farm doesn't care about the money their customer is out of pocket, they want more for us to still have the day.

Now... if this was another business, like a high street shop, this behavior would be unacceptable.... there would also be a better management plan in place to prevent these types of things from happening. 

But, Deen City Farm seems to feel that they can fall back on the fact that they are also a charity and thus have no need to give us money back or rebook at no extra charge.

We believe the mistake was made by them, not us.  That the email process should have been more detailed so it could catch problems like this.

I am left feeling like a farm that caters to children doesn't actually care about my 8 year old child, her birthday and her 3 friends.

So... we are left in a desperate situation.  Unable to book something else, and having a child who is facing the loss of her dream party... my husband is leaning to pay the additional £70 to save the day for her.

I am sad and angry that Deen City Farm is exploiting their mistake with bad business practices at our expense.

---------------------------------

The beautiful old hymn, Great is Thy Faithfulness,
words by:  Thomas Obediah Chisholm

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.

Refrain

Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!


Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Refrain

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!

Refrain

In the work place, if you do wrong, fail to listen or break the rules the usual outcome is an immediate consequence... you lose priviledges, get restricted, or maybe even get fired.  If you've ever been hit for doing wrong, your friends and collegues would gather around you with a lot to say... talk to the union, report it to the police, sue.

But when it comes to children and they do wrong, fail to listen or break the rules... they get hit, tapped, spanked.  You tell your friends about it and get a lot of identification, "children are frustrating", "I do the same when mine doesn't listen", "persevere they will learn"...

You're more likely to get comfort and support for hitting your child than hitting an adult.  But why?

A child is small, vulnerable, doesn't understand the fullness of actions and consequences, doesn't understand the connection between their actions and feelings and other people, is still forming their view, their base for knowing wrong and right and all the why's.  They are still learning.

Who is more in need of understanding, to be reacted to with wisdom and experience, to be viewed as a pupil learning from a teacher... even when its annoying and inconvenient.  Who more benefits from immediate and proportionately relevant consequences than someone who is still learning?

So, I ask:  Is spanking society's acceptable abuse?

If you'd like to read more about not spanking, here is a link to another well written blog that covers it so well.

Christian Child Discipline:  Is spanking biblical ?(no!)

There has been a lot of talk about the movie "The Innocence of Muslims" as its triggered a lot of reactions.  But what has me scratching my head most is... why are we (or the media) focusing mostly on whether or not this movie is hate provoking?  Why are we not focusing on the fact that people, due to feeling hurt or outraged are reacting in violence?

I don't think this is a Muslim issue at all, to be honest.  I think this is a violence issue.  It is not ok for individuals to express their hurt and outrage through destruction and violence.

I'm not saying this movie is good or bad.  To me, its one of many things out there that expresses an opinion about one group that will hurt some and make others think.  I think history is full of such things, that doesn't make them right.  But I do believe that people have a right to express their thoughts.  I've never thought of myself as really having an opinion about free speach before... or maybe I have and it didn't really occupy my mind for long.

What I do support is being able to disagree with others without it incurring a violent and destructive reaction.

Shame on those people out there insighting violence, you are not furthering your cause you are harmining.  Arm yourself with love, find a healthy forum for your words and make a difference through ideas.

Abortion is something I feel firey about and very emotional.  I am quite anti-abortion in general.  I do realize that sometimes abortions are medical procedures to save a mother's life... and while I do believe that is sometimes (rarely) needed... I still have a hard time accepting that.

I came across this picture in someone else's blog and found it so moving.  Here is the link the photo comes from.  I think this image is really thought provoking and says so much all on its own.

Thank-you Jesus for welcoming